Letters #1

You made me angry in a way that I couldn't express. I think I hope I never see you again.

You were perfectly polite and helpful and made it clear that I was not invited to get to know you.

I only needed one person to believe me, and that person was you. Thank you, for the rest of my life.

I know you, you know me.

We couldn't be more different, and you're one of my oldest friends.

You seemed bemused that I would ask for your opinion.

You were kind of an asshole.

I'm flattered you thought I'm country enough to judge the edibility of the chicken you stole and butchered and put in a bucket on the balcony of the volunteer house.

You sang to me. You had part of my heart by the time you left. I hope someday we can write together again.

I wish you had lived.

I feel a little lost in the hallways without your oxygen tube leading the way.

You and you were cruel in the special way that only young men trying to find themselves can be cruel. Thank you for teaching me to recognize you. I wish you well. Stay the fuck away from my friends.

You left screaming.

You left plotting revenge.

You cried in my arms on the chapel floor, deep wracking sobs, and burned bridges on your way out.

You and you left confused and betrayed, for very different reasons.

I'm sorry I held your hand. I'm sorry I thought I could love you in a way that made sense. I'm sorry I hurt you both.

You didn't see me as human. Thank you for teaching me to spot that look in someone's eyes. Thank you for teaching me how to send the politest 'fuck off you prick' email of all time.

Thank you for sharing the presence of the God you love, and for reminding me how it feels to be seen and heard.

Thank you for teaching me the joy of debate, the passion of an adversary. Our rivals-to-lovers fanfic will be legendary.